Have you noticed that there is an outbreak of pillows? I wonder if global warming has affected the ability of pillows to reproduce and has thus increased the population level somehow?
In visiting in homes I also noticed that the number of pillows on sofas and chairs has increased exponentially as well. This is a strange phenomenon as the statistics are clear that the Body Mass Index of the population is increasing while the space not taken up by pillows, and thus available for actual sitting, is decreasing.
In addition I am told numerous times by hosts as I am contemplating how and where to sit “Oh just put them on the floor!” But if you want them on the floor why put them on the chair in the first place?
Nancy says I just don’t get it! (Now that is a category of conversation that has lots of content.) “It is style,” she tells me. She knows I may just give up when she plays that card. I don’t know style. I once mentioned that I was out of style. “You can’t be out of style”, she murmured sweetly in my ear. “when you have never been in style!”
But I am not deterred. I am thinking of starting a “Free the pillows” movement. We could set up pillow sanctuaries where newly homeless pillows could live out their days in dignity and peace without the indignity of being relegated to the floor or the closet. We might have style mavens give foster care to the pillows that used to adorn hotel beds only to be tossed aside when it is time to really sleep. And if motels and hotels did not have to have such a high pillow budget we might get nightly rates that are lower than an apartment rental.
So let’s hear it: “Free the Pillows! Free the Pillows! We want our space back! Free the Pillows!”
The Pillow Grinch