(This was caught in the drafts for well over a year… time to set it free… Don)
Have you noticed that there is an outbreak of pillows? I wonder if global warming has affected the ability of pillows to reproduce and thereby increased the pillow population somehow?
In the past 20 years the number of pillows on beds (both hotel and residential) has increased dramatically while the number of heads to be placed on a pillow has remained essentially the same.
In visiting in homes I have also noticed that the number of pillows on sofas and chairs has increased geometrically as well. This is a strange phenomenon considering that the statistics are clear that the Body Mass Index of the US population is increasing while the space not taken up by pillows and thus actually available for sitting area is therefore decreasing.
In addition I am told numerous times by hosts as I am contemplating how and where to sit “Oh just put them on the floor!” IWhich makes me wonder if they wanted them on the floor, why put them on the chair in the first place?
Nancy says I just don’t get it! (Now that is a category of conversation that has an inexhaustible supply of content). “It is style,” she tells me. She knows I usually give up when she plays that card. I don’t know or understand style. I once mentioned in conversation that I was out of style. “You can’t be out of style” she murmured sweetly in my ear, “when you have never been in style!”
But I am not deterred. I am thinking of starting a “Free the pillows” movement. We could set up pillow sanctuaries where newly homeless pillows could live out their days in dignity and peace without the indignity of being relegated to the floor, heaped in the closet or unceremoniously tossed in attic or basement . We might also recruit style mavens to give foster care to the pillows that used to adorn hotel beds only to be tossed aside when it is time to really sleep. And if motels and hotels did not have to have such an outlandishly high pillow budget we might get nightly rates that are lower than an apartment security deposit.
So let’s hear it: “Free the Pillows! Free the Pillows! We want our space back! Free the Pillows!”
The Pillow Grinch – aka Don
